thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
