he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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