So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
