I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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