I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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