She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
