I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
