i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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