on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
