were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
