you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
