it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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