So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
