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Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
