The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
