Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
