And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
