I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
