Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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