so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize