He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
