sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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