She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
