his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
