Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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