We're facebook friends in real life
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize