Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
