Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
