Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
