I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
