I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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