she looked like the before picture.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
