it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Randomize
