Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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