Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
