Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
