So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
