Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
