I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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