When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
