Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
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