I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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