The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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