The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize