I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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