Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
