You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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