were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
