Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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