Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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