Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
