Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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