even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
