you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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