if i died would you start the facebook group?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
