So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
