My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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