talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
