Well apparently he's into motor boating.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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