I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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