Your tits are I can't wait for
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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