Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
