So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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