i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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