the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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