No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
