just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
where am i from again
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
